We also wanted to centre and uplift voices from the trans and non-binary community, especially in light of the recent Supreme Court ruling on the legal definition of women-only spaces, which would have undoubtedly caused a lot of concern and worry for the community. Below, we share a personal story from a former OU SiSE student, who generously offered his inspiring experience to feature in our newsletter.
I left school with nothing and went into security at 19. I was told I was pretty big for a girl and decided that was the only way I could get a job that meant I could wear a shirt and tie, regardless of how people saw me. However, life didn’t go to plan. I felt my life spiralling until I found myself in prison. I felt like I had hit the floor so many times that I didn’t know were the bottom was.
I had never been in a safe enough place to be completely out and live as a man. Yet sat in a female prison, I knew I had lost everything. Even the birth certificate that said I was born female. I knew then that a lifetime of pretending to be something I wasn’t had got me here. I came out as transgender, changed my paperwork within the prison, and it felt like I could finally breathe.
Each day, I discovered what kind of man I was. It wasn’t easy. I faced challenges from both staff and prisoners, but this time, it was on my terms. I got a trusted position in prison. Started writing poetry to get my feelings out.
Got onto an Open University course for arts and humanities, and I felt myself growing. All the old thoughts were being pushed away, and the doubt and anger started to fade. Education was the door that kept on opening when all the lights went out at night.
I read books and changed my mindset one day at a time. I applied for more higher education schemes in the prison and entered the Koestler awards.
By the time I got out, I wanted more. I applied for a university place and was rejected due to my criminal record, but then carried on writing and being creative to get out my head. I co-wrote a play called High Risk, and we performed it on stage to raise money for our bail hostel. Every negative I looked for the positive. I applied again to university and got in. Then got diagnosed with dyslexia and dyspraxia. It was not easy. But it was the goal way off I kept looking at, and every barrier began to slip away.
Before I knew it, I was standing in front of my family, who was watching me accept my degree. I stood there as an openly transgender man holding my degree and thought “I wanted my master’s degree”. My goal post moved. I am now nearly finishing my master’s and am looking toward my next graduation ceremony. I am no longer the boy who sat in a cell looking out at the world. I have been a Koestler’s judge and wrote a book, The Boy Behind The Wall. I have been in prison, and talked in universities.
When I look at where I have been, I can’t change it, but I have spent every day changing my reactions and making each day count.
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