A neurodiverse form of yelling “Help, I don’t know how to start to finish my MSc in Global Development?” while supposedly serving sabbatical!
To summarise my standpoint based on a lifetime of institutional discrimination and negative bias, I reflect on a recent prolonged experience. I am using the lens to answer a question on my mind and through which I hope to attract peer support; professional insight; alternate perspective; or even McKenzie advocacy from students, faculty and patrons in fields of human rights, politics, crime and justice, psychology and/or psychiatry.
What have I benefitted from my institution?
In the 23 months (December 2020 – October 2022) residing here (so this public ring-fenced-funded vanity programme could claim 24 months of intervention off a SiSE), I have been able to develop greater depth of understanding my schemas (Dr Freud’s “Ego”, on LSD-? / Logos Sychoph Demos). I have learned about my personality’s functional maladaptive modes and how these communicate unhelpful thoughts to my ‘vulnerable child’ (e.g. enraged mode, punitive mode and critical mode etc). In addition to understanding how the brain responds to trauma (an emerging field in US custodial Sychoph {sic}), I learned that trauma triggers the ‘security guard’ (amygdala) which then leads me into fight/flight/freeze/appease mode which prevents any rational ‘healthy adult’ response in a situation (apparently).
Furthermore, my lay-developed understanding of the amygdala (or more thoroughly, the pituitary gland) is the other name for the limbic system of the human brain-body, I concede this is the emotionally-driven core of the brain which lends to any physical response to a stimula, as emotions cause behaviour. It would be conjectured to stipulate psychic function of this limbic system is formed at the cerebellum cortex found at the lower part of the brain. In any case, the perfect but so misunderstood ‘primitive’ function of the amygdala enables sixth sense instinctual responsiveness to any situation. Particularly when a person invests, dedicates and inculcates this ‘security guard’ to act through a ‘healthy adult’, even given any traumatic event. This is suggested as occurring as developing ‘autopilot’ modes through neurolinguistic programming of the ‘computer’ section from the ‘Chimp Paradox’ part of the brain. I consider the development of an ‘autopilot’ is the programming of the amygdala.
Nevertheless, I learned to appease the volume of bullying, and learned to freeze in the face of psychological abuse. I also experience that my conflict management is commonly to avoid conflict (flight) and that when engaging in conflict resolution, I am perceived and projected as someone who acts “entitled” or “acting narcissistic, nor valuing others’ (flight) feelings”. However, I learned that I am also empathic and supportive of others, that I am interdependent with others. This in my view contradicts the juxtaposition framing my personality presentation as “a narcissistic psychopathic complex”. Not bad for a Dyslexic, Dyscalculic, Asperger’s Syndrome, ADHD, Bipolar post-grad.
So, how do I begin my final year MSc module, given the psychosomatic pressures of a very elitist Criminal Justice fraternity which derogates individuals’ pursuit of rehabilitation? To all my Open Alumni, Holla Back!
NB / PS:
My opinion is that this institution is part of the last decade’s deployment of the Offender Personality Disorder (OPD) pathway, in the English and Welsh Criminal Justice Services. The OPD is a brainchild following the wholly failed and abusive Dangerous Severe Personality Disorder (DSPD) units which were ended, quite rightly, not soon enough. The OPD (in my opinion and service user experience) is a plaster on a wound which often misdiagnoses and thereafter is coercive to the ill-treatment of vulnerable prisoner populations, with mental health illnesses often being minimised.
This article reflects the opinions of the 'student in a secure environment' author, and does not necessarily represent the views of the Students Association.
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