A reason to stay

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<div class="fr-view">Born in Cardiff in 92,&NewLine;On my father&&num;8217&semi;s birthday too&period;&NewLine;Early days are blurred and grey,&NewLine;But bits and pieces find their way&period;&NewLine;We hadn’t much, but we got by,&NewLine;With second hand dreams and hopes held high&period;&NewLine;Had what I needed, not what I craved,&NewLine;But love and lack both shaped the brave&period;&NewLine;Mum and dad in pubs each night,&NewLine;I’d wait in the car beneath dim lights&period;&NewLine;A middle child, not first, not last,&NewLine;A quiet kid who learned too fast&period;&NewLine;By ten years old, the dark set in,&NewLine;A storm began beneath my skin&period;&NewLine;Didn’t know the words or why,&NewLine;Just wished each day that I could die&period;&NewLine;The teenage years brought darker scenes,&NewLine;My mother lost inside her dream&period;&NewLine;At fifteen, phone in shaking hands,&NewLine;Ambulance call and siren bands&period;&NewLine;By twenty, joy came back at last,&NewLine;A fleeting break from shadowed past&period;&NewLine;But fate was cruel, my dad fell ill,&NewLine;A heart attack, my world stood still&period;&NewLine;He didn’t make it, he was gone,&NewLine;And I was left to carry on&period;&NewLine;No tears, no grief, no time to fall,&NewLine;Just stood straight up and faced it all&period;&NewLine;For mum, my sis, I stayed so strong,&NewLine;But numbing the pain don’t take long&period;&NewLine;I found the drink, it dulled the ache,&NewLine;And alcohol kept my heart awake&period;&NewLine;From morning light, to midnight’s call,&NewLine;I drank, I fell, I lost it all&period;&NewLine;Then tragedy struck once again,&NewLine;My sister gone, just twenty-five then&period;&NewLine;Within a year my world had gone,&NewLine;My father, my sister, both withdrawn&period;&NewLine;And mum has lost her loves the same,&NewLine;The house grew still, I took the blame&period;&NewLine;The bottle deeper, nights grew black,&NewLine;I tried to leave, but kept coming back&period;&NewLine;Pills and blades and ropes that failed,&NewLine;Yet somehow through, my heart prevailed&period;&NewLine;I sought out help, begin to mend,&NewLine;With meds and talk and some true friends&period;&NewLine;A slow climb up from shadows shore,&NewLine;To learn to live a bit once more&period;&NewLine;At thirty, I was on my own,&NewLine;A life confined within my home&period;&NewLine;Anxiety, my daily fight,&NewLine;A war that kept me up at night&period;&NewLine;The voices came, so cruel, unkind,&NewLine;Whispered lies inside my mind&period;&NewLine;&OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;You’re weak,” they said, &OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;just end it all,&NewLine;No one would care if you should fall&period;”&NewLine;Four months locked inside my fears,&NewLine;Drowning deep in silent tears&period;&NewLine;But therapy called, I tried again,&NewLine;And this time healing did begin&period;&NewLine;By thirty-two, a vision clear,&NewLine;To help the men who disappear&period;&NewLine;Not from the world, but from their soul,&NewLine;To show them hope can make them whole&period;&NewLine;So I applied, I took the stand,&NewLine;To study minds, to lend a hand&period;&NewLine;To make a change, to be the light,&NewLine;For those still lost in endless night&period;&NewLine;Now thirty-three, I’ve found my way,&NewLine;Still working hard, most every day&period;&NewLine;Ten years behind those prison walls,&NewLine;Where broken men make hopeful calls&period;&NewLine;Two years of study, dreams reborn,&NewLine;Through pain and loss, a purpose formed&period;&NewLine;I’ve met some souls who’ve changed me too,&NewLine;In way they’ll never quite construe&period;&NewLine;So hear me now, through dark and rain,&NewLine;Through fear, through loss, through all your pain&period;&NewLine;No matter how the night may fall,&NewLine;There is a reason behind it all&period;&NewLine;There’s light ahead, though faint, it gleams,&NewLine;A fragile spark that fuels your dreams&period;&NewLine;You are enough, don’t drift, don’t hide,&NewLine;The world is better with you inside&period;&NewLine;<div id="zfWrap">&NewLine;&Tab;&Tab;&NewLine; </div>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;</div>

Harry Jenkins