From the flames to freedom

Content warning – domestic violence. Please read with care.

Like anything in life, I guess the big question is where to start? For myself, that would be when I was younger, with the first memory I can recall. I was around 3 years old in '93, and I remember playing with my toys on the first corner step leading upstairs. I recall hearing my mother screaming and running past me with my father not far behind, kicking me out of the way and chasing her upstairs. The scream from my mother that day haunted my dreams for many years after this situation. This was the start of my journey through hell.

We moved around between family members until we were placed into a women's refuge in '94. I settled into a school, and we had a family worker who used to come and take my siblings out, but I started making bad decisions from here, where I would take knives to school and develop a huge hatred for anyone with power. During my late childhood, things progressively got worse. I had to see child psychologists due to the things I would do. By the time I was 13 years old, I was a drug addict and alcoholic, and my criminal activity really started to take off. I was placed into foster care as I was too difficult to handle during the first six months. I had 12 different placements and six different social workers. I was then in and out of care until the age of 16, when I went to the leaving care team.

Over the span of just over 20 years of drugs, drink and criminal activity, I was a disgrace of a person; everyone to me was replaceable, women were just sexual objects for me to play with. It took until December 23rd 2023, when I looked in the bathroom mirror, I was disgusted by what I saw and who I had become, for me to make a change. I then made the hardest decision in my life – I was going to get clean. Since deciding to get clean, I vowed to help other people live a more balanced life and help them with their recovery journey, help them find their motivation, and guide them to find their passion in life as I have done. This gave me the passion to succeed in my recovery and help anyone else in need. I then went on to get my level 3 in counselling.

I have also now started my psychology with counselling degree to be able to help people further. I had to go through my own personal hell to find out who I was truly meant to be. so I guess what I wish to say is, no matter what happens in life, you can always succeed. Never let anyone tell you that you can't do it: always manifest what you want from life and where you want to be, and you will get there. We are not where we want to be in life, but we are where we need to be at this moment in time.