<div class="fr-view"><p style="text-align: left;">National Coming Out Day, celebrated on the 11th October, was founded by Robert Eichberg and Jean O’Leary in 1987 to celebrate the bravery of LGBTQIA+ people who live openly. National Coming Out Day began as an American tradition but is now widely celebrated as a global awareness day.</p>
<p>Acceptance of LGBTQIA+ people is declining, with harmful ideologies and policies threatening the safety of people trying to explore their identities. While the United Kingdom once sat at position number one on the ILGA Rainbow Map, it now ranks 22nd, which is why LGBTQIA+ awareness days such as National Coming Out Day must exist.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">It is uncommon for an LGBTQIA+ person for coming out to happen only once, often having to repeat this in various social circles potentially every time they enter a new social setting.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Coming out is also a unique experience to each individual. To recognise that, some of the OU Pride committee wanted to share their coming out experience with The Open University community on National Coming Out Day in this Hoot article.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong style="font-weight: bold;">Kevin – Events Officer of OU Pride</strong></p>
<p>People often believe you come out once and move on. But in reality that is not true. As a gay man, and a masc presenting man, I come out on a regular basis, whether it be to co-workers, healthcare providers and the most recent one, a random woman on the train from Milton Keynes to London.</p>
<p>I have been coming out for over 21 years, but still at times these conversations fill me with anxiety and dread. A few of these conversations have not been positive; however, most have been positive.</p>
<p>In a previous job, I was working with my manager, and he was talking about his girlfriend. And he asked, &#8220;Do you have a partner?&#8221; Such a small choice of words made such an inclusive space where I could be myself without any fuss.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>KJ – Vice Chair of OU Pride</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">When people think about &#8220;coming out&#8221; to someone, usually the scenario imagined is a one-and-done conversation. For me, that wasn&#8217;t the case in the slightest: I had multiple coming outs when I finally came out as trans, and each time had different approaches and thoughts/emotions involved.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">One of the very first people that I came out to was my mother, when I was about 14 (I don&#8217;t remember when exactly, but it was before the first COVID-19 national lockdown happened.. I was 14/Year 9 when that started). My mum and I have had a very close relationship for as long as I can remember, so it wasn&#8217;t very difficult for me to tell her. In fact, we were close enough for me to come out in maybe the most unhinged and unfortunately graphic ways that younger me could&#8217;ve possibly come up with&#8230; My mum was (and still is) very supportive of me in my transition. I vaguely remember, in the early days, her saying something along the lines of &#8220;I don&#8217;t care whether you are a boy or a girl. As long as you are happy, that&#8217;s all that matters as you will always be my child&#8221;.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Towards the end of Year 11 (2021), I eventually came out to my foster carer. At the time, I was under the impression that religious people were inherently anti-LGBTQIA+ (which I now understand is a very small minority that happens to be very loud). With my foster carer being a particularly judgemental Christian, I was absolutely terrified so I was actually avoiding telling her as I feared the worst: her getting me sent to conversion therapy. I wanted my school leavers&#8217; hoodie to have my chosen name on it, but my carer wanted to just sort it out on my behalf instead. Not sure what to do, I ended up having a mental breakdown and panickedly saying to her &#8220;[carer&#8217;s name], I&#8217;m a boy. My name is Kellin. I use he/him&#8221;. Much to my shock, she seemed to accept this at that moment, as I did get Kellin on my hoodie instead of my dead name (though I wouldn&#8217;t say she was actually supportive as she didn&#8217;t put much effort into learning the correct name/pronouns – she didn&#8217;t really acknowledge being gently corrected, until many times of me arguing with her because of it).</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>Kit – Chair of OU Pride</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">As everyone else has said so far, ‘coming out’ is never a single thing, nor a single time in an LGBTQIA+ person’s life. I&#8217;ve come out many times, ranging from the fairly simple (telling my partner I was queer) to the more complicated (telling my family I was a trans man). I&#8217;ve had both good and bad experiences. The bad … well, there&#8217;s a reason I no longer talk to my dad! But even the good can be fraught. My partner took my coming out as a trans man fairly well, despite the questions it threw up about his own sexuality. My mum, though – she started freaking out just a little bit. I had to take some space away from her because I couldn&#8217;t handle it, which made her freak out even more.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Once I&#8217;d had some breathing space, though, I was able to sit down with her and talk through her fears and worries and confusion. She was able, after that space was given to her as well, to calm down enough to come to the conversation with curiosity at the forefront. She didn&#8217;t get everything right, but she tried, which was the important thing, then and now. So when people are coming out to you, please remember, the most important thing is to <em>listen</em>. Even if you want to jump in and reassure people, this moment is about them, not you.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">And if you&#8217;re an LGBTQIA+ person coming out, or if you&#8217;re not yet ready to, please know Pride is there for you regardless.</p>
<p>Happy Coming Out Day!</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Coming out can be important because visibility matters. Every time someone feels able to share who they are, it challenges the negativity towards our community in this world and makes it easier for the next person. But coming out should always happen on someone&#8217;s own terms, when they feel safe and ready.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>~ Kit, KJ, Oskar and Kevin ~</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://www.stonewall.org.uk/news/why-do-we-need-national-coming-out-day">https://www.stonewall.org.uk/news/why-do-we-need-national-coming-out-day</a></p>
<p><a href="https://mermaidsuk.org.uk/news/national-coming-out-day/">https://mermaidsuk.org.uk/news/national-coming-out-day/</a></p>
<p><a href="https://www.rainbow-project.org/rainbow-map/">https://www.rainbow-project.org/rainbow-map/</a></p>
<p><a href="https://www.gchq.gov.uk/news/gchq-coming-out-and-proud">https://www.gchq.gov.uk/news/gchq-coming-out-and-proud</a></p>
<div id="zfWrap">
		
 </div>



</div>
Share
Read more