<div class="fr-view"><p><span lang="EN-US" data-contrast="none"><strong>The following piece was awarded Third Prize in the OU Students Association Freshers Writing Competition for Freshers Fortnight 2022 (10 &#8211; 23 Oct). The author, Lainey, lives in the West Midlands and is studying the Arts and Languages Access Module.</strong></span></p>
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 <p><strong style="font-weight: 700;font-family: Cabin, sans-serif;font-size: 17px;font-style: normal;letter-spacing: normal;text-align: start;text-indent: 0px;text-transform: none">Content warning: mental health, homophobia, transmisogyny, death</strong></p><p>I miss the innocence of being a child</p><p>No care in the world – just toys and smiles</p><p>Painting by number, and lego based builds</p><p>Not carrying the weight of our cruel, cruel world</p><p><br></p><p>My cousin's barbie, a sight to behold</p><p>Who knew femininity came from a mould?</p><p>Better put it down, and read social cues</p><p>‘Cause my family will never erase their taboos ;</p><p><br></p><p>Who cares about football? Or playing in dirt?</p><p>Don’t say that out loud, or you’re going to get hurt</p><p>“You’re not a lost cause yet, you’re just lead astray -</p><p>And being effeminate doesn’t make you gay!”</p><p><br></p><p>Little did they know, there was more to the tale</p><p>Of course, I liked guys... but I wasn’t a male</p><p>I knew there would be some initial fear</p><p>But I was scared for so many to disappear</p><p><br></p><p>I suppressed my feelings, my ignorance was bliss</p><p>Thought life would be easier pretending to be cis</p><p>But the facial hair started to grow out my face</p><p>And I thought I'd be better off dead and erased</p><p><br></p><p>Puberty shouldn’t have felt like gore</p><p>I wasted hours crying on the bathroom floor</p><p>Avoiding mirrors, ‘cause a stranger stared back ;</p><p>And the thoughts in my head gave me panic attacks</p><p><br></p><p>I had to escape this, I had to be me</p><p>But I wasn’t ready for the transmisogyny ;</p><p>Grew up in a generation constantly online</p><p>But now I avoid it, ‘cause people are malign ;</p><p><br></p><p>Parliament debates my right to exist ;</p><p>Bandwagon issues to get voters to switch</p><p>We just want to use the toilet in peace</p><p>But are met with accusations and brutality by police ;</p><p><br></p><p>There’s so much more that I could say</p><p>But I'll leave it be, that’s for another day</p><p>I’m a trans woman, and proud to be alive</p><p>This was my story, and this is goodbye.</p> </div>
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Frangar, non flectar
I miss the innocence of being a child, No care in the world – just toys and smiles, Painting by number, and lego based builds...
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